What Happens After A Funeral

Once the funeral has taken place and you have celebrated the life of the departed, there are still a few issues that must be dealt with which tie up all the loose ends, meaning you can relax with your memories of happy times. Here, we guide you through the final stages of your loved ones passing

Submit an application to your local council or the church authority depending on who manages the burial ground. This must be done before anything is altered at the grave site. You can do this yourself or ask the Memorial Mason who you have chosen to create the headstone (if you have chosen one yet). Stone masons are registered with councils and can submit these forms on your behalf.

Examine the regulations that specify height and width of headstones for single and double graves. Your Memorial Mason should know the regulations and keep you on the right track.

When it comes to wording on the headstone, stick to the guidelines set out by the council or church authority. You will have to submit the exact wording and description on the application form for approval. Your memorial mason can advise you.

In the UK, cremation is very common with over 70% of us choosing to be cremated. Once a body is cremated, it will normally take seven to ten days to receive the ashes. Your crematorium will organise a time and date to deliver them to you or to go and pick them up. You can elect to have the ashes placed in an urn, box, or some other closed receptacle of your choosing; the cremation center is happy to comply. Sometimes the crematorium will let you choose from a selection of containers, ranging in price and structure, for you to receive the ashes in.

Crematoria provide a Garden of Remembrance where ashes can be dispersed and small memorials can be placed. Some crematoria provide areas where urns or caskets containing cremated ashes may be placed for limited periods. However, you do not have to leave your loved ones ashes in a remembrance garden, they can be collected and taken away. They may be taken to a grave in a cemetery or churchyard, another crematorium or scattered privately in a special place selected by family. It is important to seek permission from the appropriate Authority or land owner before scattering your loved ones ashes.

Crematoria will usually have some kind of memorial facility, A common form of permanent memorial is the Book of Remembrance which is usually displayed in a chapel. Entries can be made available for viewing on request. Some crematoria provide a selection of plaques in stone or metal, though these are normally purchased for a limited period only. Plants and trees may be planted for periods which may be extended by agreement. Donations are often accepted for use of provisions at the crematorium or for the embellishment of the buildings or grounds. Ask your Funeral Director as they should be aware of the memorial options available at local facilities. Direct enquiries to the Manager of the Crematorium will ensure that full details are provided together with costs.

When it comes to keeping, burying or scattering ashes, the laws and regulations state that:

• You are free to scatter ashes anywhere in the UK, so long as you have the permission of the landowner.
• Having said that, there are specific environmental guidelines applicable to some locations such as the sea or mountainsides.
• If you are burying the ashes in an urn, rather than scattering them, again, different rules apply.

Only the person who signed the application for cremation or the funeral director can collect the ashes from the crematorium, apart from in special cases. A concept you might not have considered before, but just as no one can own a person in life, no one can own their body or their ashes after they have died. The executor of the will or failing that, next of kin, will likely take responsibility of making sure a person is laid to rest/ have their ashes scattered according to their wishes.

Some people choose to scatter the ashes of their loved one in a churchyard or graveyard. Sometimes they will be scattered over an existing family grave. For others, ashes can be scattered over bodies of water, for which permission is not needed.

When it comes to scattering ashes, the Environmental Agency have created a few guidelines it might be wise to make yourself aware of:

• Anything else you scatter at the same time should be biodegradable. The ashes themselves won’t damage the environment or hurt plants and animals, but plastic or other synthetic items could.
• Stay at least a kilometre upstream of any pools of water, and far from marinas, buildings, and places where people bathe or swim.
• Scatter the ashes on a calm day (weather wise) and hold the urn very close to the water when you empty it.
• Common land, like village greens, belong to someone. So you don’t automatically have the right to scatter ashes there. You MUST ask for permission before going scattering ashes in public areas.
• Scattering ashes in a UK National Park, such as the Peak District, the Brecon Beacons, Lake District, Dartmoor etc is also fine providing you seek permission. You must contact the particular organisation in order to gain it. A discreet scattering is usually acceptable though, as long as the land and surroundings is not disturbed.
• The National Trust have issued permission for the scattering of ashes in the past. They do however ask that you check with those managing the specific site you’ll be scattering at before you do so.
• Permission is usually granted on the understanding that the ashes will be scattered discreetly, without leaving any grave markers or tributes behind.